Sunday Scribblings - Wicked

There are some that will tell you a person is either good or wicked.

I disagree. Life is not black or white, but rather ever increasing shades of gray. In much the same way, one is not wicked or good, but instead one can span the spectrum. A little more good, a little more wicked, completely wicked, a "good Christian", someone who could be wicked but chooses not to be, someone who is horrified by the very concept of being wicked.

I remember the actual day when I realised I was more wicked than good.

I was watching a television show called "Hex". The story was that a young girl named Cassie was inextricably attracted to a fallen angel, Azazeal. The relationship was all wrong, and really, Azazeal was a complete shit. He tricked Cassie into sleeping with him, he killed her best friend, he stalked her and ultimately she would die for him. The one thing he had going for him was the fact that a part of his black soul did love Cassie and he was extraordinarily gentle with her and apparently the sex was amazing. Obviously as a viewer you're led to think "No Cassie, don't do it!" and for a while I was thinking that, even after she did sleep with him and her self destruction was inevitable. I remember the actual shift in my mind, like all of a sudden the turntable record player slipped its needle into another groove. This groove was unfamiliar in a way, but in another way it felt like coming home. Like this was the tune my body was playing all along, and my mind was only just catching up. Screw the world, I thought. If that was me, I'd choose Azazeal. Even if the world would come crumbling down around us. An inherently selfish decision, and definitely wicked.

It is strange to think I would revise my world view based on a story about a fallen angel. Then again, humans have been telling and retelling stories that feature key themes, such as good versus evil. What is the movie Transformers if it is not an epic battle of good versus evil? We're supposed to want good to win. "It's the right thing to do" people say. Right according to who I wonder? God? Not my God. But perhaps yours. Are you "good" because you're frightened that if you're not, they won't let you in the pearly gates at the end of this life? If that is so, you're not actually choosing. Your God is standing over you with a hefty 2 x 4 and you're doing whatever it takes not to be hit on the back of the head with it.

Maybe the human race is basically wicked and chooses to wear a thin veneer of good, to fool God and whoever else might be watching. I don't give a shit about that God, or the people watching, but I'm not totally wicked. If I was I would have more sex, more confidence and generally care less about everything but the moment. That sounds pretty damn good actually. Maybe all we have is this moment and the next and the sheer decadence and silky sexiness of being so wicked that it hurts. The good kind of hurt, that unfurls somewhere around your pelvis and unleashes pulses of the unexpected that force you to crawl over the hood of a car and seduce some bad boy in a leather jacket for everything he's got, and a few things he doesn't.

My Superhero Necklace

After what seems like decades (but has only been months) I have ordered the above necklace! I found Andrea at Superhero Designs accidently and instantly fell in love with her necklaces. They are totally unlike anything else I've ever seen before and while I'm not a huge necklace person or a huge bead person, the one above shouted my name loud and clear. The necklace is not cheap (we're talking about A$85.00 including postage) but Andrea has such a wonderful business philosophy and as an independent business owner and gifted artist, it is not a lot to pay.

You can imagine my dismay when I clicked on the "buy" button a few months ago only to discover that Andrea had closed the store "temporarily" while she gave birth and started to nurture her son Ben. Fortunately Andrea has re-opened (for a limited time!) and I was able to swoop in and order my necklace. It is called "Cotton Candy" and I love it already.

With every brushstroke...

Here is the purchase I actually made today:



Here is the artist's explanation of what they are:

"My flags are inspired by Tibetan Buddhist prayer flags and Native American burden baskets. Each flag represents a prayer to be sent out into the world. The pockets on the flags are intended to carry your burdens, hopes, dreams, worries, and so on that are then released into the world as the flags blow in the breeze (although these flags are intended to be hung inside).

This set is from the "story" series. Each flag has a few words that make up a little story. This one reads: With every brushstroke, stitch, and vintage button, she heals, the little girl inside her heals."

I image that with the word "brushstroke", the artist actually mean "word", and then I relate it to my writing. It makes sense. The artist's name is lizlamoreux and you can find her on Etsy.

Cupcake Madness

I am not sure why I have suddenly gone cupcake crazy, but here is some of the cupcake cuteness I would like to own:

This adorable cupcake vinyl pouch is from Barry's Farm and I'm currently trying to get them to make me a tote bag with the same motif...SO cute.


This is indeed a necklace full of cupcakes...it also comes in sushi and is from the gorgeous website Shana Logic. Heaps of unique and cool items from Indie shops can be found at Shana's website, however my big complaint is that a lot of the stuff is sold out! This is sad especially when I would have loved this:


Yes, that is a cupcake on the scarf. They still have it in black, but I don't know...it doesn't speak to me like the pink does.

Update on this: I contacted the company who make this scarf (Peep Accessories) and they're making one in pink for me! I heart them! Mucho love on them!

Okay, I'm done...call me cupcake girl. I can handle it.

Sunday Scribblings: Astrology

I think astrology is bullshit, and this is unfortunate as I tend to hang out with a "new age" crowd who all know which star sign the moon is currently in and say stuff like "Oh my GOD, my moon is in Jupiter and you know what that is like" or "I found out he is a Gemini! That explains sooooooo much". I am not sure why this irritates me so much, or why I've never really been interested in having it explained to me.

I guess the bottom line is that I don't like the irrationality of astrology. It seems like it isn't based on anything remotely logical, just a bunch of crap mish mashed together with your date of birth and time of birth. I find that very interesting - perhaps time and date of birth meant something pre everyone and their dog opting for c-sections and choosing the date and time of their birth (day births are much less disruptive on hospital staff, you know), well, doesn't that just make 50% of births for the past 10 years or so pre determined? I'm 30 years old, and I was born on December 31 1976. I was actually supposed to be born several days later, but my mother's doctor was keen to have a holiday break and convince my mother to be induced.

The fact that I was born on 31 December and not 2 or 3 January means that I started school (at that time we worked on a January-December birthdate requirement, not the June to July one we work on now) with kids who were anywhere from 1 month to an entire year older than me. Imagine if I was born just 12 hours later, I would have been in a different grade at school, had different friends. Who knows how my life would have been changed?

Alas, I would still be a Capricorn. From the little I have read, I have to admit to having something in common with the "typical" Capricorn - but I also have plenty in common with various other star signs as well. That's the thing about astrology - it can say so much and so little at the same time. My star sign for today, Sunday 1 July reads:

You try to be objective now, but "wishful thinking" rules somehow. With partners now it may be wise to do what's fair and compromise. Forgiveness could free you from bondage to guilt or resentment. The Roman army made war by day but made love at night. Take a hint. The way you feel today improves when you can make some winning moves. An attraction that is curious grows for one who seems mysterious. You might be attracted to someone who seems sexy and somewhat sarcastic. If you value money or possessions more than love, you may lose some soon.

I mean really...what a big heaping steaming pile of crap. I don't have a partner, so there is currently no love making at night, or at any other time for that matter. Forgiveness can always free a person from bondage and resentment - that's hardly big news. I might be attracted to someone sexy and sarcastic? Who? Leno? Carson Daly? I might also be attracted to the guy at the local gas station. I might be attracted to a lot of things and a lot of people.

It's just frustrating trying to make sense of a horoscope. They're vague enough to mean everything and nothing at the same time. But really... I'm a person who admitted in the first sentence of this post that I hang out with New Age people. I believe in magic (although magic is logical), spells, rituals, karma, love, frosted cupcakes and cute prayer flags that make me want to heal my inner child. So why the block when it comes to astrology?

Maybe I've just seen too many frauds. Maybe I really don't believe in all the things I just listed (except for the frosted cupcakes), and just wish I did. But because I see astrology as being associated with weirdos, frauds and crazy new age bookstore people who let it run their lives....wait. That's it.

I don't believe in astrology because I can't control it. And I fear what I can't control and because I fear lack of control I can confidently say astrology is all bullshit and know that at least a certain sector of the population will agree with me.

I hate it when I have to admit defeat. I do admire my brain though - I'm so fucking clever at fooling myself. Next thing you know I'll stop believing in cupcakes.