I hate this prompt.
I'm going to hate wading through other people's posts about the day they married their husband/wife. All very romantic stories, I'm sure. I'm not against marriage. It's just the older I get the more complicated the whole thing seems. I don't know if I could ever hand someone my heart on a platter. And I don't know what I would do if they served me theirs on a platter.
I went out to dinner a few months back and a woman I didn't know very well told me that she met a guy, they had two, like, awesome months together and then he left for a trip to Europe. There were many tears and promises (most of them hers I am guessing) and now she had just quit her job and was going to fly to Europe to holiday with him for a while before they both came back to start their lives together. Part of this hideously romantic tale was the line "Two weeks after I met him he said I was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he could see himself with me forever."
At this point I was ready to leave the table if she continued with "He said he could see his unborn children in my eyes". Luckily she stopped for a breath and I said "Maybe there is something wrong with me, but I'd run a mile if a guy said that to me." She looked visibly annoyed. I guess I was supposed to gush and giggle and look wistful as I told her she was the luckiest woman in the world and I was so envious.
Sorry, no. I'm not against relationships, love and romance. I like all three, sometimes mixed together. But I'm not willing to mortgage myself for something that isn't real, doesn't make sense and is based purely on emotion. Just because you love one another, doesn't mean it is going to work. Life leans much more towards the practical than the romantic and the various expensive weddings I've attended over the years have made me decidedly cynical about the whole thing. One in three couples who marry divorce. I think they should be made to give the wedding presents back, or offer a cash equivalent.
15 comments:
I understand your feeling about the prompt this week because we have been skirting around this subject for quite awhile. I decided not to write anything and just enjoy the music on my blog. Don't worry - your "Prince" will come you just might have to kiss a few frogs first. :o)
My marriage was one that didn't "work", but the prompt has me reflecting on that this week. I don't think I'd be ready to do it again, but I have no regrets that once, I did take the step.
Reality and Illusion are two sides of same coin. May be I love to live in illusion, afterall happiness is what we are living for! When I read. 'I hate this prompt'....I was really curious to know what lay inside the post. :)
BW,
I am more practical, but I still believe in love and like you said, relationships are far more complicated than the fairy tale. I think fairy tales are in some way like truths we aspire to. The aim isn't perfection but to believe more is possible. Marriage doesn't have to be a ball and chain neither does it have to be ridiculously rosy all the time to be something to be valued.
Appreciate you coming by and commenting.
p.s. I see nothing wrong with not wanting to marry ever.
I would run far, far away, too. That comment right there would resonate "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Now that I'm older and wiser and have assets--like a house and a retirement fund, not to mention 2 children to protect, marriage seems more and more like a bad idea. But, for many people, that initial "gushy" phase sucks them in, even though it rarely lasts. The man I am sort of seeing right now said something to me like, "I think I'm falling for you..." and I responded with a snort, "give it a few months, I'm sure it will pass." Oh, and RYC about my size 10 dress--I was an obnoxious 21-year-old that weighed 110 pounds back then, so I was pretty snooty about a size 10! I now wear a size 14 (sometimes a 16), and would be thrilled to wear a size 10!
That's pretty cynical. Don't approach anything with you eyes closed. My marriage just ended, yet the 12 years were the best of my life so far. Even if it doesn't last long, that doesn't mean it won't be good, of full of wonderful memories.
I have more reason than most to feel cynical about marriage, but I'm not. After all, two out three work out good!
I had one bad marriage and one that seems to be too perfect. I spent 27 years alone in between the two, and that first marriage still has me expecting the worst. But, so far, so good. BJ
i love that line from Bryan Adams! But would also need to vomit if he would have actually said that to her!
I remember visiting you on another prompt that also had you hating loving relationships! haha
why so cynical on this subject Beautiful witch??
This really made me chuckle. I agree, the older I get, the more cynical and the more "less romantic" I am... but that is what 14 years of marriage and 2 kids has done to me. Great post. I always have the urge to vomit when people in love start talking like "that".
... oh, but I am very happily married! LOL
Hiya, I just wanted to stop by and welcome you to The Next Chapter: Soul Coaching. It will be wonderful to get to know you through November!
One of the things I love about Sunday Scribblings is all the different viewpoints. It was great to read yours!
Although I am Married...it will be 7 years tomorrow actually...
I don't think humans were meant to be monogamous creatures. I think it is purely a social construction. I have a monogamous marriage and I am happy, but I am also realistic that I may not always feel this way. We are humans, we grow and change.
I know people (my husband's parents) who have been married for almost 50 years and seem pretty happy, but I think that is not the norm.
I hope someday society accepts (for real)that not everyone is meant to be married. That being single is wonderful too. We are a diverse culture, but our media and history doesn't always reflect that.
I tend to feel untrusting of words that come too soon, that are not based on the experience of knowing one another. It seems perhaps that in two weeks it would be hard to know very much. I feel that a bit of challenge, like a flat tire, the first disagreement, someone not getting their needs met will show one so much more about them selves and the other. Are we kind, argumentative, do we blame or listen and try to understand. Sometimes it takes months or more to get in to this sort of situation.
You forgot the part where he looks into her eyes and says "I can imagine us as old people sitting in our rockers on the front porch." One of my favorites
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