Soul Coaching: Day Four

This is my photo! I'm so happy Jamie used it on The Next Chapter:Soul Coaching blog

Day Four: Where Are You Now in Your Life?

I read this day last night as I am still trying to catch up to everyone else after my slow start. I keep telling myself I am exactly where I need to be and it is helping, but I thought I might be able to do a sneaky "two days in one" with days three and four. I immediately knew I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn't explore day four in its own time.

Today was a trying day for me. I had a strange conversation with a long time friend of mine yesterday. We were talking about politics and he said some things and I said some things. He'd reacted strangely to a comment I'd made so I sent him an email apologising. I wasn't sure I needed to do that, but he's a good friend so I sent it anyway. This morning I read an email from him that said You were very insensitive. I was very unhappy with you. I'll get over it. I read it and I thought it was totally ridiculous. I was happy Obama won and he would have preferred McCain did. This is not a big deal. I immediately thought "who is he to say such things to me?"

I believe in the synchronicity of this book. Oh yes, I do.

Here we are talking about decluttering and letting go and here I am with an email that seems to be trying to make me feel bad about something very silly. Do I need this in my life? No. I do not.

This set my day off on a strange foot, and I never quite recovered. I paid close attention to observing how I react to things. I listened extra carefully to what people were saying to me. Here is what I heard:

• You are cynical
• You are negative
• You are making me feel bad
• You are efficient
• You are proactive
• You make me laugh
• You could have done that, or is that you SHOULD have done that?
• I disagree with you
• I agree with you
• I hear you
• We forgot about you
• Go away
  

It was an interesting exercise, and I feel a bit scraped raw from it. I am certainly not a perfect human being, but I try hard. Here are the more negative statements re-worded, as Denise Limm suggests.

• I am a realist
  
• I was having a low motivation day
  
• I could have been more sensitive in that situation
  
• I am efficient
• I am proactive
• I am funny
  
• I could have done that, but I chose to do something else
• I have a different point of view from some people
• I put forward engaging points of view that reflect the current climate at work
• I have people at work who understand what I am saying and support me
• We misplaced the meeting agenda and we're sorry. Next week is a better time for us.
• We're busy at the moment, but we look forward to seeing you next week.
  

I like the second list much more than the first list! I want to work on thinking more in these terms than the first list. It's like learning to drive a car - the negative words and thoughts are automatic and I have to re-learn how to drive my brain so I can slow down and replace them with positives.

It has been a hard day for me today.