I have had my moments of stillness this week.
Several times I sat quietly and tried to distance myself from my thoughts, to let them roll over me like wave after wave of rushing, noisy water. It was hard, very hard. I was gentle with myself about this. I am not experienced at meditation and to expect 15 minutes of perfect stillness straight away is not realistic for me.
I also tried other forms of stillness - one was dancing. Now technically dancing doesn't sound like stillness, but while my body is dancing my mind has no room to think. I'm with the music, I'm with my body, I'm in that moment. And that is the essence of stillness I think.
After dancing I wrote down the follow words in response to the truth question:
What do I feel?
- Unbound
- Passionate
- Buzzy
- Brave
- Able to do anything
- Fluid
- Happy
Then I grew up a bit more, went to university and I stopped making time to dance. Now, 15 years later, I almost never dance. Part of it is that I can ignore the heaviness of my body if I don't move it a lot. Those extra 30 pounds or so are barely noticeable if I hide from my body. That's sad, isn't it?
What hurts?
No longer dancing.
What is the painful story I'm telling?
I no longer dance because I'm too fat and too frightened to feel that.
Can I be sure my painful story is true?
It isn't. My dancing today proved that. I can still enjoy dancing.
Is my painful story working?
Well, it was. :) Now, not so much.
Can I think of another story that might work better?
I can dance whenever I like, whenever I want to feel free and fluid and passionate. There is nothing holding me back.
I really enjoyed Truth this week. I'm going to keep telling myself these truths and keep trying to get to the bottom of the stories I'm telling myself, which ones are working and which ones are holding me back.
I also want to consider this question more often:
Of the options open to me, which one brings the most love into the world?
Excuse me, I'm going to dance right now!
I also wrote an additional post this week entitled The Joy Diet: Truth in Failure
26 comments:
I LOVE your post - keep on dancin' girl, it's the best exercise there is (well, almost ;)
You did great. I am glad you tried what you loved in the past, and still enjoy it. And glad to here this book is working for you.
Hihi, I also wrote about dancing, come over and look...
Very nice. Very introspective. Thanks for sharing.
Whoop! Whoop! I got my dancing shoes! Want some company? :)
I found your post very inspiring. I, too, am overweight and do not do things that highlight my heaviness. I love that you danced and felt joyous and free.
I was a dancer, too, and I let that part of me go, perhaps for many of the same reasons. Keep on dancing!
I love your post so much. Keep dancing.
Thank you for sharing your truth this week. I am so happy you found your way back to dance and gave yourself permission to just do it.
Very inspiring and positive post. Happy you realized you can dance if you want to!
Your post reminded me that sometimes I make things too complicated for myself. It can be as simple as dancing once again (I stopped dancing too).
that was a beautifully sincere and powerful reflection you offered. thank you for sharing it.
Witnessing your process through truth is simply marvelous... Dance on girl!
This was a difficult chapter and looking at the truth of what we tell ourselves can be painful. How wonderful that you uncovered such a joy! keep dancing!
what a wonderful insight to your thoughts this week!
what a beautiful realization...you dance away girl!!!
What a beautiful post on truth. I am so happy that you were able to reconnect with your inner dancer.
I also really love the question you posted. I added it in my planner pad at the beginning of the week as a reminder that we always have the ability to make a choice that radiates love.
Lets Dance!!!
What a delightful post!
I love to dance, & too, & recently a friend told me I needed to 'dance like you did when you were a child' more often - just for the joy of it!
Isn't it sad that in our culture, we have such a vision of what a dancer's body 'should' look like. My daughter did some belly dance in college, & that's a form where big is GOOD - & looks good, & hula is another.
so glad you rediscovered dance!
Yay! I love that you chose to dance. I wish my truths were as easily recast more positively, but I think you're on to something. Something really good!
This post made me smile!! Keep dancing! Yoga is like that for me so I totally "get it". Isn't it great how when we put our "self talk" on paper it seems so irrational!! lol Cheers to you for exploring this! See you next week!! =D
what a happy post:) so many of you find dancing a wonderful thing. Maybe I should give it a whirl:)
I so relate to your post - even the tape I used to play and dance forever it seemed!
No I seldom dance - and yes it is knees and weight that seem to get in the way!
I love your new truths!
Beautiful post. I love that you have both the Truth in Failure and Truth in Dance. Nice juxtaposition.
I imagine you dancing with joy, now. I've never been a dancer, but I love to watch people dance. Especially kids - so uninhibited, so joyful. I wish we all had that in us still.
Have a joyful week!
I used to dance when I was younger too, it's a shame that we let some things go and forget the joy it used to bring. Wishing you all the best with dancing, Angie :)
Whenever I go inward to find a key to unleash my joy, I always see myself dancing like a crazy person around a fire! Loving this blog...
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