Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Where my best impulses have taken me


My Mondo Beyondo lesson for the day asks me where my best impulses have taken me.

My best impulses have taken me around the world. I have inhabited strange cities, built a life myself in a foreign country, met people who invite me to places like Jamaica to finish writing my book and actually mean it, walked under the Italian sun, found constellations in the roof of a cave, walked the path of the samurai, felt insignificant next to several of the wonders of the world and knitted my own self into the fabric of manyplaces and many different people.

My best impulses saw me sign up for a writing and yoga retreat in Guatemala. I was so sorry after I had paid for the retreat. If I could have canceled I would have. I was overwhelmed with strangeness, with change. I didn't think I could fly to Guatemala and find my way to the retreat. I did, and it was one of those decisions that just made sense. It led me to my writing self, which led me to October.

My best impulses (with help from a friend's sage advice) saw me refuse yet another corporate, soul draining job and accept a position much less secure which has supported me extremely well as I write. I remember wishing fervently that I could find a job that paid me enough to earn the sort of money I earned in a full time job but only work part time. I thought it was an impossible dream, but it is my reality now.

My best impulses put me on a plane headed for someone who is a very dear friend now. I trusted when there was no promise of anything, and though it took some years, I see how grace caught me. I see her hands on me. I see her guiding me.

It's more than I've believed in for a very long time. And my best impulses say it is enough.

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