I went to lunch on Saturday. It was a bright and beautiful day. There is a little cafe that was once an old bakery, and they make nice food there. I had my book, and I was ready to enjoy the sunshine.
I wanted to order something healthy, but the sight of chicken and coriander quesedillas on the menu (an incredible rarity in Australia) quickly changed my mind. I ordered the quesedillas and took my seat in the sun, with my book open. The kind waitress bought my skinny latte and I sipped and read and enjoyed the mild warmth.
My quesadilla showed up and it was HUGE! It was divided into quarters and in the centre sat a small pot of sour cream. My immediate thought was "that is not enough sour cream". Before I had even taken a bite, I had decided it was not enough. I started eating, trying to dismiss this niggling thought. There WAS enough sour cream. It would be fine. If there wasn't enough I would ask the waitress for more. There. That ought to keep me happy. Wrong. The need for extra sour cream saw me get up from my seat and ask the waitress if I could please have some more. I told her I was happy to pay for it, but she said it was fine and smilingly brought me over a new pot of sour cream. I could relax now. But you know what? I didn't need the extra sour cream. I used maybe a tiny bit of it.
So why was I so obsessed with needing it? It is a symptom of why I overeat - I never know when I have enough. It is a symptom of who I am as a person - I don't seem to know when I am enough. And I am. I am enough, and I have enough. I don't need to stuff myself full of food to compensate for being less, because I AM ENOUGH.
1 comment:
I have found myself doing exactly the same thing. Not so much in a cafe or restaurant, but at home when dishing up my dinner.
Is it conditioning do you think? Something similar to always cleaning one's plate as it is a sign of discourtesy to the cook or chef to leave a portion if you are full?
I cannot help but think that it is a reflection on society. More always seems to be better than just enough. People want bigger cars, bigger houses, more money ... it's never enough to have just enough to maintain health and happiness.
But you are right ... we are enough.
Michele-lee a.k.a. Feirelynne.
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