Day Eight: Exploring the Turning Points of Your Life
I unconditionally accept my feelings...and what I feel is not who I am
I'm excited to begin the week of water. More excited than poor little Eeyore in the picture above, anyway! I love the water. I live near the ocean and as a child I spent my summers learning how to swim. I don't get to swim anywhere near as much as I used to, but I still have that love of water and the way it cushions my weight and holds me up.
I have chosen to do the Level 1 activity today: What Were the Turning Points in Your Life? This is a big question.
The turning point that comes to mind is a recent one. I mentioned early last week about a friend who said something to me that I chose to take in a way that made me feel "bad". I picked my language for that sentence very carefully - I chose to feel bad about what he said. I allowed him to bring out feelings of guilt and remorse. As they say in therapy, use the 'I' statements. I can't sit here and say "He made me feel bad. He didn't have to say that. He was mean." I'm all about the personal responsibility.
I am not sure, but I know that our friendship needs to change, or perhaps its end has come. I remember several years ago I met up with this friend and I was in a quiet space. He said "You're quiet today" and I said "Yes". We sat in silence for a while and he said again "This is very quiet" and I said "You could always ask me questions" and he looked and me and said "But that isn't how this works". That may be, but now is the time for our friendship to change or for me to let go.
I feel at peace with this and I feel this has the potential to be a major turning point. I hope everyone else's day eight has been as interesting as mine.
8 comments:
I too went through the exact same thing with a "friend" lately. Finally, I reached the breaking point, and severed all contact. I feel lighter and freer!
Thank you for sharing that experienced because it reaffirmed that I was on the right track.
You rock! :)
good for you for realizing the one-sided aspect to your friendship. that can be so hard! i recently had to walk away from a friendship that i'd discovered was that way too. it wasn't that person's fault, i was as much a part of it as she was, but when i realized it just wasn't going to work out for me, i made the decision to move on. (((Hugs to you!!)))
Oh I am in the midst of the same thing - it has been over the past year, and I miss my friend sometimes, but your post reminds me of how bad it would feel being with him and treated that way. Thanks for sharing this - it's hard to let go of friends (at least for me, obviously.)
I've been through something similar myself recently. As hard as it is, sometimes, we just have to take those necessary steps for our own well-being.
Blessings and well wishes to you,
Serena
"That isn't how this works..."
How telling! Well if it isn't, then bye bye. Crazy for you to give away all your energy like that. You deserve better and more.
When that awareness dawns, it's hard to go back.
Here's to friends who see and hear us. May many find their way to you :)
My cousin is going through the same thing and I have been through this before. There is an old saying I can't remember the author "when you step forward in life look around to see who is with you".
Thank you for sharing.
Ah yes, we do have similar themes with day 8. It is amazing how potent small actions can be, from checking a blackberry to being willing to just ask a question.
Jamie is right, once that awareness dawns, it is hard to go back.
I hear peace in your voice. My your departure from this space be graceful and invite new love in.
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