The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: Week Three

Secret Three: Following Your Fascinations

These are the things that help me to be brave, and to take that step toward my goal, my dream, my light. That step can be painful and frightening and scary and it sometimes makes me feel sick to my stomach.

• Remembering that people believe in me, and in my talent. I remember compliments paid, the look on someone's face as I read the words that flow from my mind, the stories that are uniquely mine.
  
• How I feel when I write - like I've slotted into some invisible groove and this is exactly. where. I. need. to. be. The sense of belonging and hope is something I've looked for my entire life, only to find it inside of myself, induced by the act of writing.
  
• I talk about my writing, mostly to myself. Sometimes I'll be in the car and I'll pretend to be answering questions from a group of people about what it is like to be a successful author. I talk about my characters, my challenges and even though no one is there, and it is just me, I feel like I'm acknowledging my writing self and stroking its soft golden head and thanking it. Okay, that's a little weird. But it works for me. :)
• Knowing that the pain of not doing anything is far more than the discomfort that comes with trying something new.
  
• Planning. I love to plan, even if my execution is a little shaky sometimes. I read the book Wishcraft that Gail McMeekin mentions in this chapter. I love it, and highly recommend it. Even if it is a bit old, the principles are very sound and some of the best ideas I've heard in regards to goal setting and achieving. If I have a good plan, I find this can make all the difference.
  

I think that's it. That's what I do to bring light to the tunnel of creative darkness. I can't wait to read about what you do and create my little toolkit. What a great idea.

My little step this week will be to get up 30 minutes early on Wednesday morning and spend this time writing. I've been a little out of it lately, possibly due to my massive efforts in November for NaNoWriMo. But, this is me, back to an active writing schedule. Hooray!

The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: Week Two

If I close my eyes, maybe the world can't see me

Secret Two: Honouring Your Inspirations

Here is what I "heard" in this chapter:

• If I embrace my creativity like a lover, investing time and effort and love and caring into our relationship, my creative self will flourish.
• If I spend time in nature, exploring the elements and simply being outside, this will enhance my creativity.

These are good reminders. I have my own sanctuary to create in - my beloved conservatory where I like to work on my art and read and play with my puppies. I do most of my writing here at my desk in my bedroom, though. It is a comfortable space, but certainly needs some clearing out. I have a scented candle burning at the moment. I have only recently returned to lighting candles, but I can't remember why I stopped.

What talents do you have naturally? Gail McMeekin wants to know. I'm a good writer, a gifted writer even. I love the written word and to play with it, arrange it so it has meaning and breathe to life stories, weaving the words tight and close, well, that is pure joy to me. I am determined, I am funny, I have big dreams and interesting ways of helping them transition from dream to reality, although some are not there yet. All in good time, all in good time.

What drains your creative energy? My day job. Being gone, 10 hours a day, in a place I'm not sure I belong, doing things that curiously have no real meaning. This makes me sad, and sadness zaps my creative spirit. I am trying, though, to bring more creativity to work, to be less sad and more happy. Another work in progress.

I think ultimately, creativity is more important to me than almost anything else. Therefore I must find ways to let it run wild and free in my life.

The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: Week One

Secret One: Acknowledging Your Creative Self

I'm excited to be a part of Jamie's current book blogging group. I really enjoyed my experience with Soul Coaching. My favourite parts were getting comments from other people who were sharing my journey, and connecting with them on their blogs. It made me feel part of a community, which is really a very precious thing.

I have read The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women before. It was more than a year ago now. I found the book through Kimberly Wilson's podcast. I was in a horrible job at the time, and I would sneak chapters in when I wasn't busy and the office dragon wasn't around. I liked the book, and definitely got something out of it. I revisited the book again as a part of Kimberly Wilson's Creativity Circle. I noticed some fairly harsh criticism of the book on that go around, and I admit that due to the heavy load of reading (we were working on 3 books at the same time!) I didn't re-read 12 Secrets.

After I read Chapter 1 today, I thought how lucky I am (and how lucky you are!) that we are not in the same position as Gail McMeekin. We have strong female role models in creativity all around us in this wonderful online community. I can think of at least ten women off the top of my head whose blogs I follow, loving their art or craft or their writing and painting. I follow YOUR journeys of creativity, while going on my own. Even if I don't reach out to all of these women, just knowing you are there means that I don't feel so alone. I feel strong women all around me and I know that if you can do it, so can I.

I am a very creative person, but it took me a long time to come to believe that statement, and live it. First and foremost I am a writer and words are my main art form. But I love to dance (only by myself in my house), paint, colour, glue, scrapbook, make origami and doodle. I've been so much happier since embracing the creativity in my soul. I know that I don't have to be the best dancer, or the best painter, or the most perfect writer. I just have to try. And that, my new friends, is the most fun thing of all. All the possible joy that can flow from creativity.

I look forward to reading some of your entries for the first week - I'm so excited!

Sunday Salon: New York, New York

This amazing photograph is from a collection called 'The City' by Lori Nix

Biting the Big Apple by Bella Vendramini, Lip Service by MJ Post, Not Quite What I Was Planning and The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs.

I feel like I've been in New York this week. It started with Biting The Big Apple, a memoir from an Australian/New Zealand actress as she studies, lives and loves in New York City. Bella (we're on a first name basis) and I are basically complete opposites. I too have lived, loved and worked overseas, but with much more planning and control than Bella, who sort of launched from experience to experience by the seat of her pants. Her way definitely makes for a better memoir. This book is compulsive reading, probably more so for Australians like myself as we get all of the cultural references and language mangling. We also get the difference between Australia and New York, and Australia and the USA in general, which you'll never understand unless you're Australian. I read this book in about a day, and it was highly entertaining. Who couldn't love irresponsible, yet apparently highly talented Bella? She's very likable and self deprecating, which makes her endearing. The main beef I have with the book concerns Bella's romances. She has two major romances - the first is her own "Mr Big" (whose fake name in the book is James), some rich guy who is intellectual, sensitive and wonderful. Well, he would be if he wasn't an abusive and raving alcoholic who abuses Bella verbally and emotionally, and almost does her physical harm. The second is a nice Israeli musician who is apparently great in the sack, but pretty dumb. He doesn't believe in Bella's dreams or in creativity in general. Obviously Bella dumps James because he's an abusive alcoholic and eventually gets together with the not so smart guy. What bothered me was in the final chapters Bella was saying that she had to leave Israeli guy as he didn't believe in her dreams and THAT WAS WORSE THAN WHAT JAMES HAD DONE TO HER. Um, what? At the end of the book, after being very clear at the beginning about the things James had done and said to her, she goes soft on him at the end? Call me crazy, but I'd consider a mentally and psychologically abusive guy to be far worse that a guy who didn't believe in me. I wouldn't want to be with either, of course, but really... Things made more sense when I read this interview conducted with Bella after the book was published. Apparently she and James married after she wrote the book, although they are now separated. Ah...I see. She was writing the book either just before or during their reconciliation, so she decided to justify her choice and say the Israeli guy was the more abusive of the two... Oh, Bella. So to sum up, it was a good read, very funny in places, cringe worthy in others, but I can't overlook the fact that she justified an abuser and tried to hold him up as a hero.


My next New York book was The Friday Night Knitting Club. I've been wanting to read this one for while, and picked it up on a whim at the library. It was an interesting book, quite clearly a first novel. I found it intriguing and compelling reading, even if it didn't actually have a plot until the last quarter of the book. Prior to that it was basically just getting to know the women who frequent the club. I agree with other reviewers who have argued that the characters are stereotypical. Yes, they are. And it is unabashedly soppy, with a death, a reunion, a late in life romance, a planned for yet still unexpected baby and a break up. I'm not a knitter, but I imagine knitters would love this book for all its knitting references. I noticed that Julia Roberts is starring in the screen adaptation of the book, and it is due out in 2010. I don't think I'll bother going to see it.


My final New York book is MJ Rose's Lip Service. I heard the author interviewed on the Writers on Writing podcast. I like erotic fiction, as long as there is a storyline and the sex is all relevant. Otherwise it would just be porn, and how boring would that be? Lip Service was compelling enough for me to read it in 24 hours. It was a slow build - Julia, a psychologically fragile unhappily married woman becomes a phone sex "therapist" in order to research a book for a sexual therapy institute. The book delves into Julia's repressed sexuality, her redundant relationship with her psychiatrist husband Paul, and her long term friendship with Jack, who has been in love with Julia for years. I thought Rose did a great job, and the twist at the end is pretty neat.

My final read this week was Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six Word Memoirs By Famous and Obscure Writers. I heard about this book on the Writers on Writing podcast too. Seriously, that podcast has done wonders for my branching out in reading styles. I've read and enjoyed a whole bunch of books that I probably wouldn't otherwise know about if it weren't for the show. The story behind the six word memoirs in Not Quite What I Was Planning is that Ernest Hemingway was asked to write a story in six words. He said - For sale: baby shoes, never used. Pretty intriguing, huh? So the editors at Smith Magazine asked, via their website, for six word memoir submissions. The results are sometimes funny, sometimes sad, and often brilliant. Some examples:

Cursed with cancer. Blessed with friends.
Crappy parents killed my self esteem.
Revenge is living well, without you.
Country girl seeks, finds, abandons city.
So devastated, no babies for me.
In a Manolo world, I'm Keds.
She walked barefoot in wet cement.

Interesting stuff.

Happy reading, friends!

Dear 2008

I've read a few blogs that have used the format "Dear 2008" to sort of farewell the year and move on. Last year I tried the Mondo Beyondo method and found it to be useful, so I think I'll mix up the two approaches and see how I go.

Dear 2008,

Now that you're gone, I'm not sure what to say. I was ready for you to go, but that's me. I'm itchy. I need to know that time is passing, things are moving. I often remind myself that time moves at the same speed whether I'm enjoying myself or not. In the next breath I try to deconstruct the notion of time. It doesn't exist really, it is just one more thing we use to try and control life. I like control. I like to know what is happening. 2008 was a year for me to let go of that a bit.

2008 was a year of travel. I took my first trip to Melbourne to see a very dear friend of mine get married. I loved Melbourne, and I couldn't believe it took me so long to get there. The trams, the little alleys, the shopping, the bookstores, the food, the markets...I heart Melbourne. I took a surprise trip to the UK and Europe. By "surprise" I mean that I had no idea I was going, and had in fact decided not to travel for a while and concentrate on paying off my credit cards. Then the email for the writer's retreat to Scotland found its way into my inbox and before you know it, I had decided to go there, and for my first trip to Europe. I am so glad I did. I'm a different person now that the sunny days and starlit nights of Rome, Paris, Lucerne and Florence have soaked into my body and soul. My most recent trip was to Cairns, to visit my wonderful cousin and her equally wonderful (if not slighty more so...) baby Kaylee Maree, and to Sydney to see my soul friend Caroline. Travel is an intrinsic part of who I am. While certain parts of taking a journey upset and distress me (I like control, remember? Travel is rarely controlled), the pay off is worth it, one hundred times over. There will be more travel in 2009, oh yes there will.

2008 was the year my cousin gave birth to the incredible spirit that is Kaylee Maree. Oh Kaylee, how we longed for your arrival. And how much you have brought with you. When all hope seems to be lost, we only have to look into your eyes to know that there is so much more. My cousin gave Kaylee my name as a middle name. I don't think I've ever been more honoured by anything in my life. That she loves me so much that her child carries my name is such a beautiful thing.

2008 heralded the arrival of Mollie Moo. Actually, she arrived in late December 2007, but close enough. Mollie (also known as "The Moo" or just "Moo") was rescued from the pound. I saw her picture on a local animal shelter website and decided she might just be the one. I wanted a similar dog to a golden retriever as I already had the noble steed that is Hopie. We went to visit Mollie and I decided to take her home. I then cried the whole way home, worried that I had ruined Hopie's life and my life and who was this new dog anyway? I stuck it out, and how very glad I am that I did. Mollie and I were meant to be together. Mollie with her tail that wags almost constantly, Mollie who gets up every time I enter a room to come and greet me, Mollie who looks at me with adoration in her eyes, Mollie who if I woke up and called her name in the night would come in a heartbeat. Mollie who cost me $3000 after deciding to eat half a towel. But we won't talk about that too much. I love my Mollie Moo with all of my heart, and I'm so glad we've found each other. I'm also very glad that Hopie has adjusted to being a big sister. It makes me smile when I watch Mollie lay down very close to Hopie, and Hopie heaves a big sigh and lets her lay there. Ah, Hopie baby dog, we're about to begin the 5th year of our journey together and you warm my heart and my soul. I don't think I would have survived the past five years without you.

2008 was the year of writing. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I found my rhythm, lost it, found it again. I let the words flow where they wanted to. I began. I found my way. I participated in NaNoWriMo and won, clocking over 51,000 words. Yay! I am a writer these days and my novel will be published. Watch this space.

Notice how I've carefully recorded events and not emotions. Now for Mondo Beyondo:

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2008?

I want to acknowledge how far I've come with my writing. It was all just a frgmented dream this time last year, and now it is much more tangible. I can taste it (it tastes like sweet spring water), I can smell it (it smells like fresh reams of neatly stacked paper and soft incense), I can feel it (it feels like fire that burns without pain, it feels like soft rain, it feels like a bagel - strong and shiny on the outside, soft and wooly on the inside) and I can hear it (it sings to me in the softest of breaths). I'm so proud of myself.

I want to acknowledge how I shifted my approach to my working day. These shifts have led to new opportunities for 2009, which are both exciting and frightening.

I want to acknowledge my weigh loss journey. I lost 15kg, which is a major achievement. It's sad to me that I've put on about 9 of the kilos I lost. It's a continuing battle, and not an easy one.

2. What is there to grieve about 2008?

I grieve for dreams and fantasies that remain unfulfilled and out of reach. I grieve for her, the other me, my opposite. I grieve for the fact that I am without a parent, and I grieve for the loss of innocence that comes with losing a parent, not just for me, but for everyone who has ever lost their mother or father.

I forgive myself for not being perfect, for not being debt free, for not being a lawyer, for not being a mother or a wife. I forgive myself for getting angry and for being demanding with myself and others.

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?

I think I've said most of what I wanted to say. I declare 2008 complete and I'm looking forward to seeing how 2009 will unfold.

Your pal,

Maree

There is a second part to Mondo Beyondo...I expect I'll get to it soon enough.