I believe in less than I used to.
Loss does that to a person.
Things have been snatched from my tight grasp, tearing fingernails and flesh. My legs tremble, my nerves jump erratically under my skin and my breath becomes shallow, so shallow it seems as if I'll never breathe deeply again. Around that corner is someone who means me harm. He'll carve his name on my virgin flesh as I accept the horror, safe in the knowledge that it could be worse because I know worse, and expect no better.
But you don't know that, do you? You don't know what "worse" is. Smile your golden smile and accept the graciousness of the world. For every one of you, there are ten of me. We, with bones snapped, black blood seeping, organs pierced and hearts shredded...we suffer so that you may believe.
Hard times come to us all, of course. You will one day lose your smile, your moment in the sun. You'll join our ranks of pain and fear. It's not all bad, you know. After all, the worst has happened and now you can spend the rest of your days on hands and knees, searching through the tattered remains of your beliefs for that most elusive of things - hope.
17 comments:
"I believe in less than I used to."
For me - at 46 - this is so true! Great use of the prompt!
Have you ever considered that all those people smiling their 'golden smiles' HAVE already gone through the 'worst' circumstances of their lives? They just have painfully and with much effort tried to put on that happy smile and try to overcome their adversity silently, battling everyday the pain in their hearts.
I hope u never lose that hope, it a life line.
happy new year beauty filled witch.
and i would not feel the braggart to say,,, i believe even less than you...
this was wonderfully refreshing honest and written expertly
I'm not sure that I agree with you. I do believe in less than I used to, but I think my underpinning beliefs are still there. One of the tensions between my husband and me is that he is a glass half empty person while I am a glass half full. As we have aged, now both in our 60s, that seems to have become more important. His attitude is a frustrated "why does this always happen to me?", a feeling of being victimised by life somehow, while I tend to think that somehow I had some responsibility for what has happened, and that I will learn from it and move on.
Wow! Cruel but so well-written!
I do think that some people suffer so that others don't. It's more or less the lanudry of the world, done by a percentage of less fortunate ones. Less fortunate but certainly wiser and more capable - if not, then why would they be the ones to carry the suffering? Wow, I just had an insight.
I meant "laundry" by the way ;)
you keep opening that box marked 'hope'
nicely done.
It seems to me that once the worst has come, the smile and hope appears...the rainbow after the storm, perhaps. No one really knows what each of us carry inside... Nice work!
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I think it was Oscar Wilde who said 'All of us are in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.' Have a wonderful new year, I believe you can!
Wow. My sentiments also. Great job of putting it into words. Thanks for stopping by my journal, too.
love this line: We, with bones snapped, black blood seeping, organs pierced and hearts shredded...we suffer so that you may believe.
i believe this is all just perspective.. the people with the happy smiles may be going through hardships of their own that others may not see.
great starting line...
guts wrench out.....
And please do visit Poetry Train being run each Monday!
We have all gone through hard times, but keep believing things will get better and trying to stay positive and improve. It takes a while but it does happen. It is all [art of the game we call life.
Well written piece.
I recall a time not so long ago when I would say I felt the same way- I think those times are part of our journey- the process of growing. Very well done! loved reading this.
I saw on facebook that it was your birthday and came by to wish you a beautiful year.
This post made my heart ache. but in a good way. I like to feel deeply, no matter what the feeling. well I guess I prefer the feeling of Joy. still feeling deeply is what makes me alive.
Happy New Year, may yours be full of Hope and Joy.
XO,
Melba
Evocative- those raw emotions and painful suffering are depicted with skill here.
Your opening line is what grabs me and the fact that you didn't sugarcoat reality with false hopes.
Best New Year Wishes, BW.
Swirl-luscious
Hey....I know what you mean but in a different sort of way. We'll have to chat about it sometime.
I just wanted to say hi. You've been in my thoughts the past few weeks and I wanted to check in and see how you were.
Drop me a line when you can
Take care - Lauren
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