Sunday Scribblings: I believe...

I believe in less than I used to.

Loss does that to a person.

Things have been snatched from my tight grasp, tearing fingernails and flesh. My legs tremble, my nerves jump erratically under my skin and my breath becomes shallow, so shallow it seems as if I'll never breathe deeply again. Around that corner is someone who means me harm. He'll carve his name on my virgin flesh as I accept the horror, safe in the knowledge that it could be worse because I know worse, and expect no better.

But you don't know that, do you? You don't know what "worse" is. Smile your golden smile and accept the graciousness of the world. For every one of you, there are ten of me. We, with bones snapped, black blood seeping, organs pierced and hearts shredded...we suffer so that you may believe.

Hard times come to us all, of course. You will one day lose your smile, your moment in the sun. You'll join our ranks of pain and fear. It's not all bad, you know. After all, the worst has happened and now you can spend the rest of your days on hands and knees, searching through the tattered remains of your beliefs for that most elusive of things - hope.

Sunday Salon: Books Galore

I've been absent from the Sunday Salon for a while. I've thought about posting, but just haven't quite got there. The reading has continued of course, so I'm going to talk about The Subtle Knife, Red Leather Diary: Reclaiming a Life Through the Pages of a Lost Journal, Standing at Water’s Edge - Moving Past Fear, Blocks, and Pitfalls to Discover the Power of Creative Immersion and American Gods.


I read Neil Gaiman's American Gods a few months back, after enjoying his young adult novel Coraline so much. American Gods was an incredibly memorable book. I read a lot and even if I enjoy a book it tends to go a little fuzzy after a while. Not so with American Gods, parts of which are still razor sharp in my mind. Characters and scenarios still come to my mind often, even after a few months which is always the sign of a great book. I won't say it was an easy read (particularly the last third or so) but it was continually surprising and unwound itself like 20 metres of red ribbon on a blanket of white snow. I didn't know where to look thought, or what evocative image to entertain. I wanted to read the book in snippets, digesting it slowly, and savouring the complicated stories of how Gods were transported to America, and their slow decline. I thought Gaiman's tension between the old Gods and the new Gods (I loved the idea of the Chrome Gods, who received hundreds of thousands of sacrifices every year from people in car accidents and the drug gods, who again were worshipped in the thousands). I felt like things came a little undone at the end and I wasn't necessarily satisfied with how the final battle went down (or didn't), but what a hell of a ride.


The Red Leather Diary was a nice little find. I can't remember who recommended it to me, but it arrived on my loan shelf at the library just before Christmas. It even had its own red tag - THIS BOOK IS IN HEAVY DEMAND, return it fast or we'll hunt you down - you know the sort of thing. I read a few pages when I left the library and I was hooked. Lily Koppel discovered Florence's diary in an old trunk being thrown out in her apartment building in New York. It detailed the life of Florence, a young girl who was 14 at the start of the diary and 19 at its end, who had a passion for writing, art, men and women and life in general. It faithfully documents New York City in the 20's and 30's and is a wonderful, colourful read. A writer for the New York Times, Koppel wrote a piece on the diary which she then decided to turn into a book. The young girl who wrote the journal is now an old woman of 90, but still with plenty of vigour and passion. The book isn't just transcribed diary entries, but is rather broken into subject matter and interspersed with interviews Koppel did with the 90 year old Florence and her friends and surviving family. In short, it is fascinating and I highly, highly recommend it.


The Subtle Knife is the second of Philip Pullman's award winning Golden Compass series. I bought the omnibus a while back and I've been wading through it. The Subtle Knife was actually an easier read for me than His Dark Materials, possibly because I'd seen the movie and pretty much knew what the main plot points were, which didn't create much mystery or intrigue. The second book is very different from the first and I can understand the reluctance of filmmakers to commit to filming the trilogy. However, I loved the character of Will and I felt Lyra was much more sure of herself in this book and hence a bit less whiny. This was very much the story of two children. I missed Iorek, and of course the loss in this book of one of my favourite characters saw me crying my eyes out. So sad. :( I can also understand the whole religious uproar around the books now. The first book isn't at all controversial in terms of the church. Critical yes, controversial no. But the second one takes it to a new level with the idea of Lord Asriel finding God and planting a knife in his chest. I love controversy though, and I love ballsy plot choices. More power to you, Philip Pullman.


That's a microscopic image of Anne Paris' Standing at Water’s Edge - Moving Past Fear, Blocks, and Pitfalls to Discover the Power of Creative Immersion. The good news: I can relate to all of Paris' main points in this book. It is definitely speaking to me and I'm finding that it has a wonderfully refreshing take on creativity and some new ideas. The bad news: It reads like a Phd thesis. It is impossibly cemented in a bunch of academic references and talk about parenting and how if your parents didn't tell you your drawings were great when you were a kid you became moody and withdrawn and can't be your own best friend etc etc. Some of this info is interesting, but after a while it just becomes redundant. We wouldn't be reading this book if we were having a great artistic life. Let's all agree we weren't really encouraged as children and stop belabouring the point! I also think more examples from Paris' clinical work would be great too. I'm sticking with this book because like I said, it is speaking to me. But I'm used to academic texts and I can imagine it might be a bit heavy going if you're not as forgiving as I'm willing to be.

And that, my friends, is it for my Sunday Salon. It's my birthday this week and I know at least 2 delicious books are headed my way and I also have almost $100.00 worth of vouchers to use up this week in local bookstores so yay! Happy reading.

Remington Typewriters and Red Leather Diaries

I requested this book at the library some time ago. I can't even remember where I heard about it. Maybe I should work on that. Writing down where the recommendation comes from. Except of course it is hard enough to write down the book title and I've only just started a separate little book filled with "must reads".

Anyway, I went to return Kim Harrison's Where Demons Dare and asked if there were any books on hold for me. Two were, one of which is the a fore referenced The Red Leather Diary: Reclaiming a Life Through the Pages of a Lost Journal. I sat in the car and read the inside cover, which had me sitting in the car for a little longer starting to read the prologue. I decided to actually get out of the car and take this fascinating book to the coffee shop and read it while I drank coffee and ate croissant. So I did, and I've been reading it on and off all day. Not too much, and not too little. Just the right amount to immerse myself in the New York of the 20's. On page 72 I came across a picture of a Remington typewriter, made in 1928 and painted lavender that the diarist had convinced her parents to buy for her. I was suddenly seized with the need to touch my Remington typewriter.



To say that it is mine is a little misleading. This Remington typewriter belonged to my Grandmother or my Great Grandmother and has been sitting in my father's shed for all almost-32 years of my life. I've never seen it operational and I have no idea whether or not it can be made operational. All I know is that it is time to try and restore it. I actually know nothing about restoring typewriters. A helpful website here suggests I start with a soft damp cloth and go from there, so I'm going to give it a try tomorrow. The website also suggests some steel wool and a few other cleaning products (alcohol for the keys apparently) so I'll get those tomorrow too and see what I can see. So far I know there is a LOT of rust, so that will take some getting rid of. Plus, I suspect that not really knowing what I'm doing will be a problem at some point. But for now, I'm just excited!

Here are some pictures of my Remington's current sad state:



This is the "carry case". You seriously do NOT want to know how heavy this typewriter is. Maybe it is made out of iron???


Despite the sheer amount of rust visible, and the very fact I'm restoring a typewriter when what I don't know about typewriters could fill a warehouse, I'm still excited about my project. I feel a strong sense of serendipity here. I'm a writer, and I have to assume that my Grandmother or my Great Grandmother (who both died about 20 years before I was born) was a writer. Why the hell else would they drag this incredibly heavy typewriter out from England when they moved to Australia?

I'm a writer. And maybe, just maybe, this is a Grandmother's gift to a granddaughter she knew she would never meet. I couldn't think of a better present.

I. Want. This. Library.

I want this guy's library.

I mean, seriously. If I was a dot com millionaire, this is exactly what I'd do with all that money.

Soul Coaching: Day Eighteen

Day Eighteen: Being Present and Saying Yes to Life

I've been quiet the last few days. I've been at a three day conference with work, and it has been such a struggle to find joy there. I managed to find some joy - my work colleagues making me laugh, the good food, how I could read my book in the breaks, the fact that the coffee was decent - but it was difficult. Basically I've outgrown my job and I'm ready for something more challenging and I've known that for a while. This week has reinforced that feeling.

Over the past year I have become very good at using "could" instead of "should". I'm a writer, so I am very careful with words, or at least I try to be.

As for today, well, I understand the idea behind living in the present moment. I do try - and I tried again today - but I think I have a life that makes it very difficult to be. here. right. now. I have letters today about my superannuation and retirement savings - I'm in my early 30's, but I have to plan now, according to them. There is a credit card statement with a due date in the future. I have a job interview on Monday (hooray for fire!) and I must prepare for that. I have to go to work tomorrow so I need to have clothes prepared or I'll be searching for something half decent in the morning. My dogs need to be fed soon, and I must take Mollie to the vet about her eye.

See? All of these things are important and my choices mean at least part of me must be in the future. I also like to spend part of my time in the past - my wonderful holiday to Europe was in July - should I just forget that because it is over? No, plus that holiday had an effect on who I am now.

I just don't think it is as simple as be right here in the moment all the time, no matter how much I appreciate the sentiment.

Soul Coaching: Day Fifteen

Day Fifteen: Confronting Fear/Developing Faith

Would you rather be good or whole?

Unequivocably, I would rather be whole.

I am afraid of how bright my light can shine, of being successful beyond my wildest imaginings, of being a mother, of never being truly loved for who I am, of dying before I've lived, of losing more of the people close to me, of working full time for the rest of my life and yet never being of any use, of never sleeping again, of never being held again, of my dogs running away due to carelessness, of going blind or deaf, of drowning in my own depression.

If I am never loved for who I am, I will survive. I will have been true to myself, to who I am and I will love myself for who I am. Which is really the most important thing, right?

I am willing to fail, and fail epicly and fantastically. To go down in flames, if you'll excuse the pun in this fire week we're in. I'll go down in flames if I must, but before I go down, I'll go up, even if for a few glorious seconds. Then I'll try again and I'll go up for a few more seconds.

Great things can be built, one brick at a time, one step at a time, one fearless action at a time.

I believe this.

Soul Coaching: Day Fourteen

Day Fourteen: Releasing Victim Thinking/Choosing Your Life

Isn't this interesting? This is something I have been working at for a long time now, and I have been paying specific attention to it during the course of Soul Coaching. I am very careful with my language these days.

I'm so stupid becomes That was silly of me, I will be more present in this moment

I'm just not lucky becomes I'm very lucky, and abundance is all around me

I'm so angry that she said that becomes How can I understand this person better?

This whole self improvement thing is difficult. It would be much easier to sit in the corner and blame the world for everything, taking no responsibility. I know people like that. But I pity them. I want to live my life and be happy. I want to have dreams and goals. I want to risk everything for the promise of something. A life lived in fear is a life half lived, and I want so very much to be fully alive.

Who I am is enough, just as I am

Soul Coaching: Day Thirteen

Day Thirteen: Attitude of Gratitude

I could be more grateful. I am grateful for my life, my health, my family and friends, my job. It's the little details I get caught up in and somehow I let them eclipse everything else, until all I can see is irritating details.

Here are the things I am grateful for today:

• My body and the way it carries me around, the fact that I can walk, talk and breath and I live in a pain free way
• My job, for it brings me money and a car and the ability to improve my skills
• The kindness of the people at the cocktail function I worked at this evening, who were all extremely nice to me
• My ability to write, and I am grateful for Chris Baty (creator of NaNoWriMo and all round cutie) who created a great program to kick me into gear with my novel
• My dogs and how much joy and happiness they bring me
• The availability of good fresh food, and my ability to buy it
• The people I work with who make me laugh
• My Mum and her unrelenting support of everything that is me
• My 46 year old bird (he's a pink and grey galah and his name is Cocky, or The Cockster if you're a close friend), just for being around and being himself
• To the muses for inspiring me
• For all my books and my love of reading

You know...there is a lot to be grateful for. I think I just need to stop and remind myself of that more often.

Soul Coaching: Day Twelve

Mossy Rocks, Isle of Cumbrae, Scotland

Soul Coaching: Day Twelve

In the centre of my being, there is always stillness and peace

I've had a rough couple of days. I thought about using a different word to "rough", but rough sums it up pretty well. I received some feedback at work which while it was framed in a very positive and careful manner was still negative feedback. And what really sucks, is that I know the feedback is true.

Sometimes I think I'm getting a grasp on myself and moving through the world and I'm abruptly brought down to earth with a bump, cuffed over the ear and told "You've got a lot to learn, kid." I wonder if it is wrong of me to think I'm evolving into something more. Maybe evolving isn't a linear process - sometimes I'm way ahead, sometimes I'm just behind and it sort of jumps all over the place.

I agree with Denise Linn when she says that working through soul coaching will bring these things to light in our lives. I suppose it makes sense that the light will shine on areas of my life that I would rather stay hidden in the dark.

Today's Level 1 suggestion is to slow down. I tried, but my mind is racing a million miles an hour and I've had such a busy few days. All excuses. I think I'm just hurt right now, and if I slow down too much I'll have to sit in that place and I just don't want to.

Soul Coaching: Day Eleven

I have no words for the soul coaching journey today. Only water filled photographs...

Venice, Italy

Paris as seen from the Eiffel Tower

The ocean view from Wee Cumbrae, Scotland

Lake Lucerne, Switzerland

Scarborough Beach, Western Australia

My home.

Soul Coaching: Day Ten

Botanical Gardens, San Antonio, Texas

Day Ten: What Are Your Energy Zappers

I am moving into harmony with everyone and everything in my universe

I chanted this affirmation this morning as I did some cleaning. I got the words a bit muddled around, but the intention is there. I carefully put aside some time in my work day to work on both the Level 1 and the Level 2 activities.

Level 1: Identify Your Energy Zappers

Here is my list of energy zappers:

Work - I don't like working full time; I'm not being challenged at work so my motivation is low; there is conflict with my work team; I get frustrated at the lack of anything remotely resembling uniform processes and procedure.

Life - I feel like I spend too much time at the supermarket, I don't like clutter and mess but I let things get that way, I feel like I don't read enough; debt zaps my energy; junk food and not exercising zap my energy; feeling disconnected and alone.

I came up with a series of good solutions, such as looking for another job, going to the sueprmarket once every 2 weeks and stocking up, making a small amount of time each day to tidy up, exercising more, eating less junk food, calling my friends at least once a month to stay in touch.

Level 2: Identify What Juices Your Energy

Here is my list: exercise (yoga and walking), writing, reading, playing the piano, spending time with my friends, the rain, planning holidays, being with like minded souls, lighting candles, being with my dogs, self exploration, creativity in all its forms, water and swimming.

From this list I put together some solutions that include finding a yoga class, going swimming either at the beach or at the swimming pools at least once every 2 weeks, turning the tv off and reading more, start planning a holiday, making more time to be creative.

Now comes the more difficult part - scheduling these activities into my life. I have a wonderful book by Barbara Sher called Wishcraft which talked about how you start with your goal - say, to exercise more - and then work backwards, exploring what I would need to do to exercise more, waht sort of exercise, early morning or evening classes, group classes or individual, costs etc etc. It's a great way to work through goals and I have used the process extensively with my goal of become a writer and publishing a novel. Those goals are not done yet, but at least I'm on my way.

Now, I'm off to fill up my beautiful water bottle from Switzerland and have a nice cold drink of water.

Soul Coaching: Day Nine

Day 9: Examining the Meaning That You Give Your Life

Firstly, I am excited that Jamie used my photo today. I took the photo at Villa Sumaya on Lake Atilan in Guatemala in February last year. It was a little nook in a wall right on the lake, with a tap and a bowl make of a sweet rock mosaic. With the lovely flowers it made for a beautiful picture. I hope everyone has enjoyed it!

Secondly, I didn't have time for more cleaning today. I spent most of the day at work (this full time work business gets in the way of a lot of the things I want to do!) and then this evening I went out with a friend for dinner and then I had to make my NaNoWriMo word count so I am feeling pretty tired and cranky right now.

I find it hard to give people or events the benefit of the doubt. The example Denise Linn gives in the book is if someone cuts me off in traffic I could choose to believe they were running late or their husband was in labour or whatever, but I usually think "what a jerk". The same when someone cuts me off in a grocery store line or walks into me because they weren't looking where they were going. What I actually want to say to them is:

I'm sorry, is your need greater than mine?

Because it isn't. All our needs are great. Mine are not more important than theirs and vice versa. It is very hard to for me to feel compassionate and forgiving towards people who lack personal insight and are unable to see outside of their own experience. I won't apologise for this.

There are other things I can reframe - my language use, the way I think of my body, forgiving myself for mistakes (I'm only human, after all!) and most of all believing in myself.

Lit Flicks Challenge - I'm in!

Okay, so I've actually been a part of the Lit Flicks Challenge since September 1, but I am only just getting around to writing my sign up post. Er, whoops! Well, better late than never, right?

Here are the books I'm going to read for the challenge:

The Horse Whisperer

Memoirs of a Geisha

Casino Royale

The Witches of Eastwick

Eragon

Man on Fire

I've actually already read the first two - which I'll post about separately. The idea is that you read at least 5 books, and watch at least 2 of the film adaptations and then post reviews and join in on conversations and stuff. I'm a little behind, but I'm hoping to catch up with some reviews and some chatter. I just LOVE talking about books!

Soul Coaching: Day Eight

Day Eight: Exploring the Turning Points of Your Life

I unconditionally accept my feelings...and what I feel is not who I am

I'm excited to begin the week of water. More excited than poor little Eeyore in the picture above, anyway! I love the water. I live near the ocean and as a child I spent my summers learning how to swim. I don't get to swim anywhere near as much as I used to, but I still have that love of water and the way it cushions my weight and holds me up.

I have chosen to do the Level 1 activity today: What Were the Turning Points in Your Life? This is a big question.

The turning point that comes to mind is a recent one. I mentioned early last week about a friend who said something to me that I chose to take in a way that made me feel "bad". I picked my language for that sentence very carefully - I chose to feel bad about what he said. I allowed him to bring out feelings of guilt and remorse. As they say in therapy, use the 'I' statements. I can't sit here and say "He made me feel bad. He didn't have to say that. He was mean." I'm all about the personal responsibility.

I am not sure, but I know that our friendship needs to change, or perhaps its end has come. I remember several years ago I met up with this friend and I was in a quiet space. He said "You're quiet today" and I said "Yes". We sat in silence for a while and he said again "This is very quiet" and I said "You could always ask me questions" and he looked and me and said "But that isn't how this works". That may be, but now is the time for our friendship to change or for me to let go.

I feel at peace with this and I feel this has the potential to be a major turning point. I hope everyone else's day eight has been as interesting as mine.

Soul Coaching: Day Seven

Day Seven: Exploring Your Soul Mission in Life

I had such fun with this exercise today. I told my Mum about it, so when we were doing things together I'd say to her "Maybe this is a soul message" and she'd say "I think there might be a message here". It was fun. :)

Here are the words and messages I heard today:

• I need to be challenged
• I want to help people
• I need space
• I am a good listener
• I am here to learn
• I am here to write and tell stories
• I need to travel and explore the earth
• Freedom is essential to my life
• There is a lot of good in people
• Embrace life - now is the moment I have been waiting for

I went to a street fair with my Mum and I was looking at all these wonderful books (they were only $1 each - what a bargain!) and I had one of my dogs with me. A man behind me said very loudly "If I could just get this dog out of my way I could get in there". I felt bad, but it was a very small space and really only one person could look at a time, whether they had a dog or not. I didn't say anything but I felt sad about it. I waited in the shade (it is spring in Australia and it can get very hot!) with my two dogs while my Mum went to have a look around and lots of people smiled at the dogs and I and a few stopped to pat them and tell them how beautiful they are. I thought to myself "I must think more about the 10 people who loved my dogs and less about the one man who was mean". Then my Mum returned with the water and a bookmark which had LOVE written on it and a picture. "Look, another sign" she said to me. Indeed it was.

Who I am is enough

I completed Level 1 today, and am keen to revisit Level 2 and 3.

Farewell, air. This week has been revealing and interesting. I felt both bashed about by your winds and held aloft by them. I feel like I am finding parts of myself on this journey, collecting them all in a jar and bringing them all into communion with one another.

Now, I can't wait to go and read about everyone else's day 7!

Soal Coaching: Day Six

Day Six: Lightening Up - Letting Ho While Doing More Clutter-Clearing

I am safe and centred no matter where I am

I chose to do Level 2 today. I must say that I wasn't really in the mood for Soul Coaching today. I tried the mediation Denise Linn suggests, but I find still meditation to be so very difficult. My mind likes to follow paths, so when I do meditate (which isn't often) I choose spoken meditations because then at least my brain has something to do.

I did Schedule Time to Relax - I watched Sex and the City The Movie on DVD (love it!) and went to a 2 hour writing session with some local people also involved in NaNoWriMo. Finding time for myself is not something I struggle with. As a matter of fact I get tired of self development books saying "make time for you" and "when was the last time you did something for you?" or "when was the last time you were alone?" I am alone with myself all the time. Sometimes I am completely and utterly sick of my own company! I understand these statements are targeted usually at women with children, but still.

There is more clutter clearing I could do and I am hoping to shake this mood and be more interested in clearing my desk space tomorrow. For now, I think I'll go to bed.

Soul Coaching: Day Five

Day Five: Clutter - Energy Up/Energy Down

I am writing this post from work (thank goodness I am well practiced in the art of sneakiness! Also, it is a Friday afternoon so I think this is okay) and the image above of Chewbacca is one I can relate to - papers everywhere, post it notes with mysterious scribbles on it. I know if I look behind me my colleague has a post it note on her wall that reads "Interview Chicken Apprenticeship." I have no idea what that means, but it makes me giggle. It also raises the point that being organised in the office is very important.

Today's affirmation is:

Fresh, invigorating energy fills my life.

Today I chose Level 2, so Energy Up/Energy Down and Clutter Questionnaire and Clearing One Area. This is a very involved task - or at least, it could be if I choose for it to be. Like Denise says, decluttering can take time. For me, it is all about micromovements. One drawer here, one shelf there and before you know it, I will be completely decluttered!

I started with my office today. Well, it is more of a cubicle. An office implies walls! I took everything out of my bookshelves, everything off my desk and gave it a good clean. I gave items away to other staff members and piled all of the paperwork I need to go through into some trays. I filed all my client folders that have been hanging around on my desk (that's a no-no when it comes to confidentiality too. I want to be more careful about that. I WILL be more careful and responsible about putting client files away) and rearranged my origami (I have an origami everyday calendar and I do one piece every day. Now that it is November I have quite a collection!) and gave away some pieces and threw others in the rubbish bin.

The result is I feel a lot more focused and a lot more motivated. My colleagues have even commented on how wonderful my desk looks and how they would like to clean up their own!

I am keen to complete the rest of the checklist for the other areas of my house and my life. In my bedroom I have recently given away a lot of clothes that I retained for the reasons Denise mentions. I feel good about that! I need to do some more organisation though and when I get home I will do some energy up/energy down exercises in there. I reorganised the bathroom the other day and threw out lots of stuff. There are still some things under the sink that need organising though. My vehicle requires a service, which I plan on organising in January. My home office and desk need some organisation.

I really enjoyed the before and after photographs other people shared on their blogs. Very interesting. Also, thank you to those people who have commented on my blog. I really appreciate sharing this journey with you all.

Soul Coaching: Day Four

This is my photo! I'm so happy Jamie used it on The Next Chapter:Soul Coaching blog

Day Four: Where Are You Now in Your Life?

I read this day last night as I am still trying to catch up to everyone else after my slow start. I keep telling myself I am exactly where I need to be and it is helping, but I thought I might be able to do a sneaky "two days in one" with days three and four. I immediately knew I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn't explore day four in its own time.

Today was a trying day for me. I had a strange conversation with a long time friend of mine yesterday. We were talking about politics and he said some things and I said some things. He'd reacted strangely to a comment I'd made so I sent him an email apologising. I wasn't sure I needed to do that, but he's a good friend so I sent it anyway. This morning I read an email from him that said You were very insensitive. I was very unhappy with you. I'll get over it. I read it and I thought it was totally ridiculous. I was happy Obama won and he would have preferred McCain did. This is not a big deal. I immediately thought "who is he to say such things to me?"

I believe in the synchronicity of this book. Oh yes, I do.

Here we are talking about decluttering and letting go and here I am with an email that seems to be trying to make me feel bad about something very silly. Do I need this in my life? No. I do not.

This set my day off on a strange foot, and I never quite recovered. I paid close attention to observing how I react to things. I listened extra carefully to what people were saying to me. Here is what I heard:

• You are cynical
• You are negative
• You are making me feel bad
• You are efficient
• You are proactive
• You make me laugh
• You could have done that, or is that you SHOULD have done that?
• I disagree with you
• I agree with you
• I hear you
• We forgot about you
• Go away
  

It was an interesting exercise, and I feel a bit scraped raw from it. I am certainly not a perfect human being, but I try hard. Here are the more negative statements re-worded, as Denise Limm suggests.

• I am a realist
  
• I was having a low motivation day
  
• I could have been more sensitive in that situation
  
• I am efficient
• I am proactive
• I am funny
  
• I could have done that, but I chose to do something else
• I have a different point of view from some people
• I put forward engaging points of view that reflect the current climate at work
• I have people at work who understand what I am saying and support me
• We misplaced the meeting agenda and we're sorry. Next week is a better time for us.
• We're busy at the moment, but we look forward to seeing you next week.
  

I like the second list much more than the first list! I want to work on thinking more in these terms than the first list. It's like learning to drive a car - the negative words and thoughts are automatic and I have to re-learn how to drive my brain so I can slow down and replace them with positives.

It has been a hard day for me today.

Soul Coaching: Day Three

Day Three: Clearing Clutter in Your Bedroom/Bathroom

I am feeling the synchronicity of today. Several months ago I cleaned out one of my bathroom drawers and never quite got to putting everything back in. Today was the perfect opportunity for me to work on Level 1: Clutter-Clear One Small Area. My drawer is just perfect now. I am really enjoying looking at everything in its place, and I am also congratulating myself on throwing out some more items as I went through everything. A few months ago I thought I needed that extra makeup, or the lipstick I haven't worn since 2003. But today I knew it was time to release and let go. Of old make up, yes, but also of all the other things in my life that do not serve me.

Today's affirmation is:

There is clarity within me and around me

Indeed. There is certainly clarity in my writing, which served me well today.

Soul Coaching: Day Two

Day Two: Making a Commitment to Change Your Life

Today's affirmation is:

I honour my commitments to myself and to others

I try very hard to do this, but like most people, I do not always succeed. I have again chosen Level 1 due to the fact I am a few days behind the group. I am definitely keen to revisit the Level 2 and 3 Day Two exercises in the future. I think they are very interesting and insightful questions.

My Level 1 Activity is: Commit to Take One Empowering Action Daily. I am SO excited by this and I knew instantly what I would choose - Dancing with wild abandon. I love to dance. I used to rush home from high school before anyone else got home, turn up the CD player very loudly and dance for about half an hour. I couldn't wait to move my body. I haven't done that in a really long time, but I am really eager to get to it.

My body is starting to wake up...hallelujah! I'm off to dance up a storm.